


iscream

by notnajaemin



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Anxiety, Canon Compliant, Delusions, Hallucinations, Hearing Voices, Insecure Lee Donghyuck | Haechan, Lee Donghyuck | Haechan Needs a Hug, Lee Donghyuck | Haechan-centric, Mental Health Issues, Other, Panic Attacks, Schizophrenia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-28
Updated: 2020-08-28
Packaged: 2021-03-06 20:08:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 966
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26154736
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/notnajaemin/pseuds/notnajaemin
Summary: He was so perfect, every single detail Hyuck had analysed and could find no fault with. The way his lips pursed when he was concentrated was so perfectly Mark-like. His eyebrows, his nose especially his eyes, all handcrafted to perfection by whatever sort of God lived up in the sky.“You’ll never be like him” A sharp whisper in his ear reminded him, his instincts were to turn to the source of the noise but that never helped. Minhyung wasn’t really there.
Relationships: Lee Donghyuck | Haechan/Mark Lee
Comments: 3
Kudos: 66





	iscream

Haechan sighed for the umpteenth time as he stared at the ceiling. He’d analysed every crack and imperfection and now he was alone with  _ him _ and nothing to distract himself, with the exclusion of Mark’s light snores. 

_ Mark _

He was so perfect, every single detail Hyuck had analysed and could find no fault with. The way his lips pursed when he was concentrated was so perfectly Mark-like. His eyebrows, his nose especially his eyes, all handcrafted to perfection by whatever sort of God lived up in the sky. 

_ “You’ll never be like him”  _ A sharp whisper in his ear reminded him, his instincts were to turn to the source of the noise but that never helped. Minhyung wasn’t really there. 

“What do you want?” He whispered into the darkness. Minhyung’s blurry outline slowly came into his line of vision. Minhyung was breathing heavily, smirking at Hyuck adjusting his glasses before sitting down on the bed.

“ _ I’m only here to confirm what you already know. They don’t love you. You see it, don’t you?”  _ Donghyuck shook his head even though it was futile, Minhyung could always see through his lies. “ _ You saw the way Mark glared at you during that VLive. Thank god the fans didn’t take it the wrong way. Now they only see you as a needy slut desperate for your hyung.”  _

Donghyuck sucked in a sharp breath. He knew exactly which one he was talking about, 21st of May, 3 months ago but Donghyuck still hadn’t let it go. They’d been sitting down to start a VLive to promote Punch, it had started pretty well (if you exclude Taeyong messing up the audio) until around 7 minutes in. 

_ Haechan, being the needy overgrown child that he was decided he needed attention, first he’d tried with Taeil, who had returned his affection but it wasn’t the same as his Mark-hyung. Throughout the whole VLive, he’d managed to slightly tick off Mark, teasing him and letting the others join in.  _

_ The last straw was almost literal. Donghyuck locked eyes with Mark as he was sipping on his drink, purposely slurping because he knew Mark would hate the sound. Mark gave him a quick glare, he had pushed it a bit too far.  _ __  
  


_ Mark laughed it off since they were on VLive and the rest of it went smoothly without many bumps. And they eventually just laughed it off, Mark getting him back by spamming pictures of Donghyuck sleeping to the NCT 127 group chat.  _

_ Around a month later Donghyuck had been scrolling through his YouTube recommendations coming across a video titled, ‘Markhyuck Tension // Markhyuck Analysis 2020’. Even though it was English he decided it couldn’t hurt to watch it even though he could only make out a few words in the title.  _

_ He skimmed through most of it uninterested until he came across something that caught his eyes. In big caps were the words ‘I WANT YOU’. He was glad Johnny had been teaching him English. He kept watching from then on interesting to see what the fan meant by this.  _

_ Apparently nothing Hyuck was expecting as he was mortified to see that the ‘Slurping Incident’ had been taken as sexual. He gasped as he read through the comments, ranging from calling him thirsty and needy to comments on his thighs.  _

_ It reminded him of times he didn’t want to go back to. Did everyone see him like that? Oh god, what if Mark saw the video-  _

_ Was he really safe here? _

_ That was the first time he’d ended up having a panic attack in front of someone (Even though Johnny was kind about it Haechan still felt bad). The cracks were beginning to show.  _

He felt sick just thinking about it. 

_ “God, you’re useless.”  _ Minhyung laughed grabbing Donghyuck’s chin forcing him to look into his dead, empty eyes. “ _ Why are you even in this group? _ ” 

He hated it. The way Minhyung looked like Mark. Deep down he knew Mark was still sleeping soundly on the bean bag next to him but the feelings of sadness and anxiety were too much for him to think logically. He was overwhelmed.

“Shut up.” He whispered into the cold night air. Minhyung continued.

“Shut up.” He repeated clamping his hand down on his ears and Minhyung tormented him.

“SHUT UP!” He screamed.

The dam broke.

He couldn’t stop, everything seemed so far away yet so overwhelming at the same time. The tears seemed never-ending. Minhyung was still there, why wouldn’t he go away?

“Leave me alone.” We wept, pushing at the demon that would keep him up all night surprised when he came into contact with something firm and defined. Was it real or had he gotten to the point of delusions where he was now imagining feels?

“Ssh, it’s ok Hyuckie. I’m here.” Mark. Not Minhyung, Mark. It was him, the real him. Donghyuck wept louder clinging onto his best friend for fear that Mark would fade away at any given moment. 

“Don’t leave me! I’m sorry, I love you. I love you!” He almost screamed out the words but it was useless as it became disorganised and garbled. Mark seemed to understand anyway.

“It’s ok Hyuck. I’m never going to leave you. I’m here for you.” They sat like that for a minute, Mark’s hand on Haechan’s thigh helping him to breathe and concentrate on what was really happening. 

When Donghyuck calmed down he sighed face planting into Marks lap twisting to get comfortable. Mark smiled down at him, one that never failed to make Haechan blush.

“You must’ve had a pretty bad nightmare to end up like that. You ok?”

Donghyuck smiled back up at Mark. 

“Yeah, I’m ok. Just a nightmare.” And if Minhyung snarled at him calling him a lier, Donghyuck didn’t hear it. 


End file.
